We all need love in our lives. It connects us to others providing a sense of belonging. Our loved ones support us when we need it, and build memories with us through shared experiences. When we have love in our lives, we feel happier and we can handle challenges with more ease. It also makes us kinder and more compassionate towards others. By looking at the different forms of love, you can learn to identify it when it is present in your relationships and build it within yourself.
Types Of Love
Regardless of the types of love you have, there will be varying degrees of commitment and intimacy present. In my belief, the most important is commitment. This is your choice of how much effort and dedication that you are willing to put into the relationship. Intimacy is not about being sexually active with the other person. This is how close or connected you are with the other person, and even how supported you feel in the relationship. This is reflected in the ability to be your true self around this person without fear of judgement. Some of you will be fortunate to experience all types of love, and some may only experience one or two. And that is okay, but you can actively work on getting it in your life by how you build your network.
Familial
This is the emotional bond that is shared between family members. It can be from parents to their children and vice versa, or towards a sibling or a grandparent. It can also go beyond that depending on how you define family. Regardless, it involves a connection that is there for life. It protects you, nurtures you, and over time, can help you overcome challenges within the relationship.
Between friends
This is platonic, meaning there is intimacy and affection, but no sexual relations. This is what you feel towards your close friends, especially best friends. You are there for each other through the good and the bad. Whether it be for lifetime friends or newly formed relationships, a bond can be strengthened when you share similar interests or situations.
Erotic
The feeling shared between lovers. It’s an attraction that is passionate and intense, accompanied by a surge of hormones that make you feel great. Although there is a sexual component to this, there isn’t always a commitment from the partners, but it can develop over time. And even though there can be a certain level of intimacy in the relationship, it may not be full disclosure. For those in lasting relationships, this type of love may fizzle over time. But if the relationship is strong in commitment and intimacy, the relationship can endure and the passion rekindled.
For everyone & everything
Many will say that this is the purest form of love that can exist. It is selfless and does not require you to have a deep bond with a person or a living thing. It’s about showing empathy and kindness to others, even if they are strangers. It’s also what you can feel for animals and nature in general.
We often see this displayed through peoples actions. Volunteer for a charity or extend a warm greeting to passersby. Spend time in nature appreciating its beauty or find ways to minimize your waste. Simple gestures can have a great impact.
Self-love
I strongly believe that this is the most important type of love that you can have. You first need to feel it for yourself in order to feel that way towards others, and in turn receive it from someone else. And yes, some may argue that for someone to love you you don’t need to love yourself. But for you to appreciate what they feel for you and build a connection with that other person, you need to understand what love is. Additionally, for close relationships you need to be open to intimacy which is difficult to do if you don’t love yourself. Without self-love, you will always doubt the feelings that other person has for you because you can’t see how they could possibly love you.
When you truly love yourself can you find more calm and happiness. You improve your self-awareness, and can accept and forgive yourself, opening the pathway to more positive self-talk. Flip the narrative on being worthy and eliminate the need to be validated by others. By learning self-love you’ll find it easier to allow love from others into your life.
If you are interested in exploring more about self-love, check out “Falling In Love With Yourself“.
Love Changes Over Time
Regardless of the type of relationship you have with someone else, the love you share can change. The change can be triggered by changing roles such as the dynamic in a family when children become adults, or once the honeymoon phase is over, romantic relationships can become less intense. This is normal as the realities of life set in and the initial discovery of who the other person is is no longer what keeps the relationship going. Major life changes such as a job loss, financial stressors, or loss of a loved one can also trigger relationship changes, albeit some changes in feelings can be temporary. Regardless of the type of relationship you are in, if it is no longer a priority and the commitment and/or intimacy level drops, the love shifts. If you aren’t sure if the other person feels the same way, have a talk with them about it.
Self-love is the first step.
Love can be complicated when we don’t understand it. To make matters worse, social media and the entertainment world bombard us with fantasies that make it seem impossible for the average person to find it. But it is all around us and within us. Start by learning to truly love yourself, and then look at the relationships in your life and identify the different types of love that you have in them.
Everyone needs to feel loved, it creates a support system and a sense of belonging. Without a feeling of connection and intimacy, you feel alone and can become isolated. If you find that you don’t have much love in your life at the moment, don’t despair, you can nurture it by the actions you do daily. But just how you can’t change other people, you can’t force someone to love you. What is in your control is to focus on self care and self-love. Embrace love by making new friends, nurture your existing relationships, and learn to connect with nature.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Monisha Selvakumar.