We all need to have anchors in our lives in order to get through the challenges we face. Anchors bring you stability and security. Although at times we feel like a dark cloud is hanging over us, all clouds will eventually part and the sun will shine again. Much like a ship during a storm, we need to learn when to ride out the storm and when to deploy our anchors.
Ride The Wave
When life gets the best of us, everything can become overwhelming. During these times, you may feel like you have no control over any aspect of your life. But that is simply how you are perceiving it because of all the negative situations that seem to be coming your way. After all, when it rains it pours, right? This is the best time to look at your toolkit and review what self care tips will help you out the most in this particular instance.
You may need to refocus temporarily on one key piece, and you may need to make changes. By staying flexible, you allow yourself the grace you need to sit with the uncomfortableness of the situation. Much like a wave, you can’t fight it, you need to learn how to get through it.
Sometimes when things are at their worst, old emotional wounds resurface, making it even more challenging to see any good. It also seems like there is no end in sight, making you feel even more impacted. By relying on your anchors, you can find how to get yourself grounded again and face the next obstacle. Eventually, you realize that you are successfully on land again.
What Are Anchors?
When we get overwhelmed by life’s challenges, we need to be able to have the tools in place to deal with those situations. And one key piece is having anchors. Anchors can be the people in your support network, spaces that make you feel safe, and things or activities that bring you comfort.
Support networks
The size of your network can vary, and remember that you are also a part of that network. How is that? Well, remember the analogy that you must put the oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else out? It’s the same idea. You need to look out for yourself, which means building a robust self care regimen. That also means knowing when to ask for help.
We all need to have people in our lives that help us through the bad times. These are relationships from both personal and professional circles. Support networks can be comprised of family members, friends, colleagues, mentors, or spiritual leaders. This is the team that is there to support you through different challenges and offer not only compassion, but encouragement and willingness to listen too. Additionally, they can provide objectivity when you can’t see it. Having a strong support network will help you maintain your overall mental health.
If you think you need to grow your support network, you can join activities or clubs to expand your social group, and in time, some of those individuals can become a part of your support network. Additionally, if in times of need you do not have someone to reach out to, there are professional support networks that you can tap into either in your community or online.
Safe spaces can act as physical anchors
This is a space that you can retreat to where you feel protected and free of judgement. A safe space allows you to take risks. It provides a space where you can be your authentic self and express yourself freely. This can be a physical space that you go to, or a visualization of one. In some cases, it can also be your happy place. Not only is it a space that you go when you are having a bad day, you can go there when you need to recharge or just have some alone time.
Things that bring you comfort
The obvious choices for this include a stuffed animal, a weighted blanket, or spending time with the family pet. Beyond physical objects that make you feel comforted, it can also include activities like going for a walk, doing breathing exercises, or picking up a book to read and get lost in the words. Some people like to cook their favourite meal, listen to music, or engage in a craft. It is often the little things that make a huge difference. The right fit is unique to you, if you aren’t sure what brings you comfort, there is no time like the present to experiment and find a few things to rely on when needed.
Look for the rainbow after the storm.
Your support network is comprised of the individuals you trust and depend on. Remember that by building your self care toolkit, you are also strengthening your own ability to lead your internal support system. Don’t be upset with yourself when things go wrong, or your response isn’t your best. Be kind and patient with yourself. If you don’t already have a space that is your own retreat, consider redecorating a nook in your home to create a space that can be your go to in times of need.
By knowing that all storms eventually pass, you can feel reassured that you will be able to get through it. Be flexible with yourself during uncertainty, and permit yourself to take more personal time to get through the tough times. Build your arsenal of anchors and deploy them as you need them.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | J.W. Ju.