Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do in life. Fear of what other people will think of you can stop you from seeking it. Admitting you need help can feel humiliating, like you are weak, or you are not worthy of it. As a result, you may choose to self-punish and not get the help. Others just don’t know how to say, “I need help”. If we aren’t taught to ask for help as children, it is a hard skill to develop as an adult. But this skill is critical to succeed in life at a personal and professional level.
Identify when you need help
How can you tell if you need help? When you haven’t done it, it’s hard to gage when you need a hand. But a great clue is that your life no longer feels like it is in your control. Different aspects are all spiralling to depths you can’t get out of, your emotions are a roller coaster, and you feel more anxious. All of these are signs that you need a hand. Reach out to a loved one, a friend, a colleague, someone you feel you can trust and that can potentially assist you. If you follow a faith, often times you come to rely more on prayer, but if you are not seeing improvement, you still need to reach out to others.
I asked for help, but nobody heard me
Sometimes the way we ask for help isn’t understood by others. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care, and it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to support us. We just need to find a different way to reach out. Finding the right words can be difficult, but know you are worth it and you need to keep trying.
Make a plan, rehearse what you will tell your friends, family or colleagues. If you know how they can help, let them know, but if you don’t, say so. Sometimes just starting the conversation is enough to get people thinking of how they can be there for you. But if you can identify what you need help with, you may be able to solve your own dilemmas too.
Calling the experts
If you don’t feel anyone in your circle could be that person, or if you think you can also benefit from more dedicated and guided help, reach out to a professional. Every major city has at least one agency of experts that can assist you. Making the call is the hardest part. Sometimes you don’t make a connection with your counsellor right away, but don’t give up. Be open to the process. It will take you out of your comfort zone, but you will gain skills that will be with you for a lifetime. Mental health should be taught in schools, it’s such a key part of getting through life.
Help me help you.
Asking for help takes courage. It may surprise you that you may encourage others to speak up too when they see you doing it. There is no shame in seeking guidance. As a species, we have always done it. We have seen proof in historical texts, in the stories passed down through the generations, and the tenants of many religions are set up so as to guide our behaviour. Counselling is a modern way of seeking guidance and strategies to get through the game of life.
In today’s world where we are bombarded with social media, hectic schedules, and limited, quality time with loved ones, it is easy to get lost. By asking for help, you are allowing yourself to take a step back and put yourself first. You are allowing yourself to be vulnerable in order to be stronger.
MAGE CREDIT: Feature image – Unsplash | Toa Heftiba.