Change is hard for most of us. We are hardwired to not like it because it requires a shift in mindset, so we naturally resist. Change inevitably requires us to alter how we behave in a certain context, and it may require some learning. This adds to the resistance, who likes going outside of their routine? Anxiety increases with uncertainty and feeling overwhelmed is par for the course. So why is change necessary?
Change Opens the Door to Reflect
Change is a disruptor. At times we have no choice in what is happening. Conversely, we can choose to implement a change in our lives. From our personal to our professional lives, we will certainly encounter change at some point. By embracing it, it becomes easier, reducing the strain on your mental health. Even people that are open to it can struggle if it is not expected. This is because it can be perceived as a loss of control or a loss in power. Both add to the feeling of stress.
But change can help us see what is important to us in our lives. This can be tied to our relationships, the activities we do, the work we rely on to pay the bills, the foods we choose to eat, growing a family, or anything else that has an impact on your life.
In companies, we often see change happen to make the business more efficient and profitable. When it comes to people, there may be role adaptations or elimination with the streamlining of processes and automation. Staff often fear these transitions, but this can also mean shifting priorities to what matters most. This can include servicing clients better, or not having to spend extra hours working to get the job done.
When we look at personal changes, we often don’t think about it except when something big happens to us. This can be attending a gathering like a wedding or funeral, we are faced with a financial hardship, moving homes, or at the start of a new year. By proactively looking at change as part of our reflection throughout the year, we can be better prepared to handle it when it comes to us unexpectedly.
Embracing Change
Change often means needing to adjust how we do something. This is difficult because we are creatures of habit. A shift in behaviour takes effort, which is why New Year’s resolutions often fail. We all have our routines, and having to alter it can be stressful. If the change requires us to learn something, this can also trigger additional stress. Not having a growth mindset can be a huge hurdle and a point of contention if the change is imposed upon you.
If you can see this as an opportunity, you can get through the change more easily. This can often lead to an increase in confidence if you had to alter a behaviour or learn a new skill. With each change you encounter, you also learn to be more flexible. Learning a new skill such as a new language, sport, or instrument can help strengthen your ability to learn and adapt to change.
Accept the situation
The best way to get past any anger or fear associated with change is to accept it. What? I know, this sounds a little out there, but the sooner you can accept that you have no choice in this, the sooner you can find the good in it. If the change is self-imposed, like starting a new exercise program, make sure it is truly what you want to do. What is your motivation? If deep inside you don’t want to adapt, you will inevitably fail.
Take it slow
Change can be hard, so the best thing you can do to mitigate the emotional rollercoaster is to take time to address it. What information do you need to understand the change? Do you need to learn a new skill or alter a behaviour? Make a plan on how you can incorporate this change into your life and select a review date to ensure you are heading in the right direction.
Ask for help
Following a change, if it is too hard and you are struggling, reach out for help. Obstacles are to be expected. Even people that have faced a lot of it can struggle with certain types. Have realistic expectations of how quickly you can adapt. Fear of the unknown is often worse than the reality. Shift from complaining about the inevitable to finding ways to get support.
In a work situation, check with colleagues that have also been impacted or speak with your supervisor. It may be that you’ve identified a missing piece in the rollout or communications regarding the process. Don’t let fear of speaking up hold you back. Being vulnerable is better than avoidance. And by showing that you want to make the change succeed, it can open up opportunities in future.
If the change is in your personal life, reaching out to close friends and family is key to sticking to your plan. You might even get a buddy system in place so you and someone else can reach similar goals together. Studies have shown that by sharing your plans with others, you are more likely to stick to them.
Grieve
Yes, at times change can be more difficult than expected. It can mean we have lost something or someone that meant a lot to us. It is okay to feel grief. Allow yourself to feel it. Think of why the change has hurt so much. Use this as a way to reflect on the things that matter most in your life. This may spark additional changes you want to implement. If that is the case, take it slowly, too much at once can be overwhelming and will reduce your chances of success.
Review
When we encounter major changes in our lives, we often forget to review how we did it. By doing so, you are preparing yourself for your next major change. What obstacles did you encounter along the way? Describe the emotions you experienced. For any negative ones, how did you resolve them? Did you identify what your values are? If you could go back and do it again, what would you do differently? By keeping a list of these accomplishments, you can review them at a future date if you are struggling with a new change.
Why does change scare you?
Similar to working on your muscles to strengthen your mind and body, the ability to change needs to be built-up and maintained to support your well-being. It is not always negative, but even positive change can be stressful. By reflecting on what matters to you and what challenges you are having with it, you can build your support network and tools to help you succeed. Change is hard and inevitable. By having a positive outlook on it and creating a plan, you can tackle it each time you face it.
By choosing self care as a change in your life, you will create a positive impact, both in your personal and professional spheres. This consequently extends into all dimensions of relationships, behaviours, and values.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Ricardo Gomez Angel.