Many people cringe or roll their eyes when they hear the word communication. Do you really know what it means? Communication is a buzzword in the workplace, often rolled out by human resources or marketing teams to improve employee engagement. Often, efforts to improve it fail because staff don’t truly explore what is at the root of it. In our personal lives, communication is even more essential to get along with our family and friends. The role of communication in self care is evident. You become a better listener, and a better advocate. This translates into setting better boundaries and managing expectations. All of this reduces conflict, increases understanding, and builds relationships.
Talking To Yourself
We all have an inner voice that under stress can make our self-talk more negative. The words we repeat to ourselves are key to how we perceive ourselves. If you are ready to improve your communication skills, start with your inner monologue. Once you identify how you talk to yourself, you can start to make changes in a positive direction.
By giving yourself compassion when faced with hardships and mistakes, you can be your own internal support system. Your word choices are critical to building your confidence and self-esteem. It takes time and practice to change a behaviour, so remember that what you focus on becomes your reality.
Communicating With Others
Conflict often arises from miscommunication. Despite all the forms of communication available to us in this modern age, we still struggle to connect. Good communication must be clear, effective, and efficient. In the workplace, this leads to increased productivity, improved teamwork, and a sense of pride. In your personal life, this enables you to take better care of yourself.
If you struggle communicating, you generally feel more anxious around others. Situations can easily escalate under pressure when you lack these skills, making communication even more difficult. In order to avoid more situations like this, people often limit interacting with others, leaving them to feel lonely and inept. On the flip side, when you can communicate your needs, you can find better support from your network, and can partake in more activities.
Written & spoken word
A big factor to consider in communication are your written words. Whether you are writing an email to a client, or sending a note to a friend, your choice of words and the coherence of your message are key. Before sending a message to someone, read what you wrote. An extra minute to review what you wrote can minimize mistakes and can help you check for clarity. If you read it out-loud, you can also hear how it can come across to others.
Unless you present to big audiences as part of your work, you probably don’t think of yourself of being in the spotlight, so you don’t watch your word choice. But we are always in the spotlight when we speak. Sometimes expressions we use, or degrading language can cause others to feel uncomfortable around us. A simple switch can make a world of a difference. Every time you speak with someone is an opportunity to be positive, kind, or gracious.
Body language
Facial expressions are universal, but gestures can vary by culture, so be mindful of what you are portraying. More often than not, what we say with our body speaks louder than our actual words. It can convey our feelings and intentions. Many of us are not fully aware of what we communicate nonverbally. This includes how we portray ourselves with our appearance. Being able to see how others see us is important for us to improve our awareness and change our behaviour if it is isolating us from others. It’s typically not just one thing, but the whole package.
Body language can be misleading, so the more you understand it, the better you can adapt to ensure that what your body is saying reinforces what you are trying to convey. When you are uncomfortable in a setting or not confident in your own skin, it can flag others to not approach you. If you are feeling great and appear open, people will be more inclined to approach you and speak to you.
Start Communicating
A good rule of thumb when you are trying to improve your communication skills is to try something every day. To work on your spoken communication, it can be as simple as trying to talk to the barista when grabbing a cup of coffee. Spend five minutes of your lunch break to connect with someone at work that you normally would not spend time with. Spark a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. Pick up the phone and call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while and reconnect.
Work on your writing skills by journaling daily. If you are having difficulty getting started, you can use prompts or questions to get you started, or check out this post about journaling. Journaling is a great tool to help you decompress, focus on gratitude, and track progress on goals. It is also a great tool to get to know yourself better. By making a conscious decision on which words you put down, you can ensure you are priming your mind to focus on what is in your control.
And finally to improve your body language, start by paying attention to how people react to you in person, and try to identify what you did during the interaction. Be compassionate with yourself, we can all be awkward at times. By looking inward, you can figure out what is socially acceptable, and what is just a unique quirk that makes you you.
Fine-tuning
When thinking about prior interactions, consider different aspects of body language. Were you making eye contact when speaking to others? Did you get a little too close? Was your stance too aggressive? Were you sweating through your clothes? Did you knock something over because you weren’t aware of where your hands were?
Your ability to adjust your body language based on social cues will help you become more approachable, and be liked by more people. People don’t like being uncomfortable, so we need to be able to read their body language too. Sometimes, they are the ones feeling anxious and a kind word can make all the difference.
Hello! My name is…
Start your communication improvement journey by focusing on your inner monologue. By shifting your word choices to be more positive, you will start to build confidence and believe in yourself. That will be evident to those that interact with you, they too will see those positive qualities in you. This reduces friction in relationships, both personal and professional. By improving your communication skills (verbal, written, and body language), you ensure that you are building bridges of understanding. This will also open the door to more opportunities. Good communication should be a part of every self care journey.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Mihai Surdu.