Hope is expecting something good to happen in the future. This can be a plan, a desire, a dream. It can be tied to a specific event or overall circumstances, with direct impact to yourself or others. It is a positive outlook for which you have confidence in its probability. When we struggle with our mental health, hope seems ephemeral.
Losing Hope
Major life stressors like losing a loved one, losing your job, or ending a relationship can lead us to feel hopeless. These life changes share a common thread of loss. A loss of connections to people in our lives, a loss to how things were. This can be a huge contributor to losing hope. Perceptions of not having control over our lives can also lead to feeling hopeless and increased feelings of helplessness.
Please note, hopelessness can also be a symptom of a mental health disorder, not just a temporary setback. If you are struggling to get your hope back, reach out to a health care professional for help. They are the best at guiding you through the path to finding hope. Even though it can be hard to imagine, know that hope will come back.
Why Does Hope Matter
When we experience hopelessness, life becomes even harder. We lose interest in things, our motivation is reduced, so we give up trying. We shift to negative thoughts, and we spiral downwards with every challenge. Losing hope can be scary, not only for those experiencing it, but for those around you.
Hope helps us manage daily stressors and anxiety. When we encounter challenges, we can trust that our approach will get us to the other side. And this ties back to our ability to set goals. By knowing what we have done previously, knowing our skillset, having a strong self care practice, we can be optimistic and hopeful for the outcomes we expect in life. This pushes us to grow, and enables us to live life fully.
Regaining A Sense Of Hope
Finding hope in your life can be a challenge, but if you focus on some core self care techniques, you may find your way back. Below are some suggestions, but by no means the only path:
Strengthen your connections
As mentioned previously, losing hope is often a result of losing a connection. Identify all the connections you have in your life. Ensure you are finding ways to spend time with people that make you feel recharged and happy. If you think you need to grow your network, try taking a class or joining a group to broaden your connections. When you connect with people on shared interests, it makes it easier to establish long-term relationships.
Feel your feelings
As uncomfortable as feelings can be, learn to sit uncomfortably with them. By giving them time and acknowledging them, you will be better able to tackle the hard stuff. Yes, it’s much easier to try to ignore them, reject them, or deny them, but that will backfire in the future. By facing the good and the bad feelings, you become more resilient, and can get back to feeling hopeful once again.
Feeling our feelings is about validation, it isn’t feeling sorry for yourself. It’s identifying what you are feeling, and trying to understand why, so that you can do something about it.
Review your accomplishments
Reviewing what you have accomplished in the past can help you remember what you have encountered and surpassed previously. This is why having a list of what you have done, along with how and the outcomes, will remind you of your skills and strengths. It will also boost your motivation. If you haven’t already got a list of accomplishments, you can read Accomplishments to get you started.
Set some goals
By creating some goals for yourself to work towards, you can direct your attention to a more positive framework. By taking the time to figure out a goal plan, you not only identify what you need to do to get there, you can also build-in milestones to reinforce your motivation. Progress on goals extends into more hope to overcome daily challenges. By having something to work towards, it also helps build a sense of purpose. Make sure you use the SMART-L strategy when building your goals in order to ensure your success.
Identify what is in your control
Identify things that are in your control, and figure out what is not in your control. By taking a hard look at what is and is not in our control, we can focus our energy on the things we can change for the better. By knowing what you can do, you will start to find more pockets of hope.
Practice gratitude
By finding the good in your life and being grateful for it, you build your capacity to be hopeful. This positivity approach to life allows you to find the good, even when the bad is present. Many little nuggets of good can become a mountain of light. This is useful to finding hope even in dark times.
Practice self care
Remember to evaluate your self care toolkit. With any major change, we should look at the skills we have already learnt. Some we may still be using and some we need to refresh. We may need to add to our arsenal if we have a gap in our tools. Finding ways to prioritize yourself and your personal self care is essential to regaining hope. If you feel physically and mentally well, you know what you are capable of. This helps you find more hope and optimism when you encounter challenges, and in turn it can lead to a more balanced life.
Hope is believing you can build a better future.
Having hope reduces feelings of helplessness, it increases your overall mood, and reduces stress. Hope can be learned, there is always a way to get it back. It does take a little effort, but once you get a little bit of hope in your life, it is easier to find more. This doesn’t mean that another difficult situation won’t trigger a reduction in hope, but you will be better armed to overcome hopelessness next time it happens.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Ronak Valobobhai.