Identity is important as it provides us with a sense of belonging. It includes the distinctive traits that make each of us unique. Being connected to others is a key element of our self care and identities help us find connection to others. Furthermore, identity helps you see yourself and it informs you of how others may perceive you too. This understanding of your place in the world helps strengthen your confidence and informs your self-worth.

Lacking identity can lead to negative impacts like anxiety and low self-esteem. Individuals can feel higher stress if there is no compass to guide them in day-to-day decisions, and the lack of structure can lead to a feeling of failure, and not having any purpose. As a result, individuals constantly shift their activities trying to find what makes them feel good and they experience ongoing frustrations. All of these factors contribute to your overall mental health.

Identity: Core vs Chosen

Core identity

Within core identity are the things that we cannot change about ourselves. We are born with them or into them, or enter our lives in the early years. These can include race, ethnicity, gender, social class, religious upbringing, and more. They are shaped by the people that exert the main influences in our lives: parents, teachers, religious leaders, coaches, and our friends. It is part of the overall constructs that help us understand the world around us, and it shapes how we approach challenges and uncertainty.

Chosen identity

Our chosen identities are fluid and change as we evolve over time. We start to notice these shifts as we become teenagers and start to place more value on our circle of friends, the activities that fill our time, and the media. Some label it as teenage rebellion, but those are prime years that we begin to experiment with who we are as people. This continues through our young adulthood, then into mid-life, and well into our retirement.

Chosen identity includes a range of choices that we make in our lives. The motivation behind some of those choices can also be a factor. Do you choose activities to be at the top, to learn something new, or because it gives you a sense of belonging? This can include career, sports, hobbies, political affiliation, sexual orientation, relationships you hold, if you give back to your community, and how you care for your personal needs.

Big life events can impact the direction we steer our identities towards. As we get older, this is where we can find the most value in life, but it can also be the cause of unease if you are not consciously working on your identity. Your personal values and beliefs are central to identity.

If you are experiencing conflict in life, it could be because your actions contradict your identity. Do you work for a company that has opposing values? Do you have friends that don’t understand parts of your identity and mock you because of it? All of this stirs up negative feelings and once we understand what our identity is, we can make the required changes to aspects of our lives that don’t support it.

Expressing Yourself

We can express our identity in a variety of ways. The easiest we all know a bit about is appearance. Our choice in attire is often one of the first things people notice about us. Other choices like piercings, body tattoos, hairstyle, and makeup can also contribute to the overall appearance and the impression we make on others.

How we act in social situations is another determinant of our identity. This is often tied to our personality traits of extrovert or introvert, but also in how we relate to others. Behaviour in close versus broader circles can vary significantly for some people. Are you dependable no matter what the circumstances? Are you included because you lighten up the room every time you walk into one?

Another element that strongly influences our expression of identity are the choices we make and how we spend our time. Those can be tied to the activities that we do, the affiliations we hold, and the work we pursue. These expressions are strongly associated with our chosen identity, but sometimes, due to life circumstances they are imposed upon us. This can lead to imbalance if our values or beliefs do not line up. In these circumstances, as hard as it may be to make changes, if you are prioritizing your own mental health, it is better to cut your loses sooner rather than later.

Boost what makes you unique

Once you have a good understanding of who you are, you can also ensure you are employing practices in your self care routine to reinforce this identity. Knowing your self care pillars and how to keep a baseline will support your day-to-day life in pursuit of your true identity. This includes knowing the activities and relationships that give you energy, not the ones that drain you. This also comes with learning when to say ‘No’ and establishing healthy boundaries in both your personal and professional lives. Reduce stressors and triggers, and find ways to have fun on a regular basis.

What is your self-identity?

Our identities change throughout the course of our lives. Identity is a mixture of roles and responsibilities, our values and personality, as well as the experiences we live. The relationships we hold are also key to our expression of self. We are all unique, and what was true in the past does not have to be the case in the future, nor in different contexts. Reviewing at least once a year what your identity is can help maintain a healthy mindset. Make changes as needed throughout the year if you find your identity is conflicting with your desired goals and values. By developing your self care journey, you are also developing your identity.

IMAGE CREDITS: Feature image – Unsplash | Nathan Dumlao. Article image – Unsplash | Richmond Fajardo.