To some level, we all know the triggers that spur an emotional reaction in us. We’ve all heard someone use the expression “They just know which buttons to push” when complaining about someone that triggered them. When those reactions become out of proportion, sustained, or seem completely out of place, one must take a step back and try to understand what is happening. Normally an unresolved trauma from the past is amplifying the situation. By learning to disarm the trigger, you can reduce the intensity of the reaction in future.
Triggers aren’t just negative, they can also be positive, like tasting something that reminds you of your grandmother’s cooking. For the purposes of this article, the triggers we will focus on are ones that are negatively affecting our lives. Often the root of these triggers comes from prior trauma, but exacerbated by current situations that resemble some element of that experience. Repeated exposure to triggers can worsen the response an individual has to those triggers, so knowing your triggers and finding a way to mitigate them is crucial for mental well-being.
Listening to Your Mind & Body
Self-awareness is key to understanding your triggers. By realizing when a situation has generated a strong response in you, you can look at the situation and identify if anything in specific was the trigger. When you become aware of your emotional response, you can take responsibility for the way you manage your emotions. Listen to your inner dialogue during one of the trigger instances. What is your self-talk trying to tell you? Are they lies, excuses, or rationalizations? Is there a clear message that you can take away from it? Is fear taking over?
When noticing that emotions are flooding you and you feel overwhelmed, listen to what your mind and body are saying. You may even feel helpless or threatened. Acknowledge it, this is your fight-or-flight response kicking in. The response is most likely tied to a prior trauma you have experienced. Evolutionarily, this is intended to help us survive, but in the modern world, it is often more of a hinderance. The good news is that in time you can learn to respond with relaxation and de-escalate future reactions.
Focus on the symptoms you are experiencing. These can include a pounding heart, being aware of your pulse in your head, a flood of nausea, shaking, disorientation or dizziness, cold sweats or sweaty palms. Some people even struggle to formulate words or stutter incoherently which just aggravates the other symptoms, and can add an element of embarrassment to the situation. Rage or helplessness, although seemingly different emotions, can both co-exist when a trigger sets you off. The blocked fight response turns to rage, and the energy not spent on fleeing turns into helplessness.
All of the above symptoms are directly affected by a surge of cortisol and adrenaline being released through your body. These are the same hormones that stress produces and increase anxiety.
Common Triggers
Triggers are a warning sign that point to a need we have. By choosing to listen to the flag, you can identify what set you off. Triggers can be people, places or things. Triggers can be sensory – a smell, a colour, a sound, a taste. When it comes to interactions with people, you can be triggered by personal or professional relationships, and sometimes complete strangers can do it too.
Being ridiculed, judged, rejected or ignored can all stir up a reaction. When a relationship is highly toxic, the smallest things can set you off. This can be a result of your boundaries being violated, feeling betrayed (whether real or perceived), losing your sense of control over what happens to you, or your beliefs being challenged. If you are not valued or respected, this can start to impact your self-worth. You also see this when we compare our lives to the false stories we see on social media where people’s lives seem perfect, we become self-conscious about who we are.
Being comfortable in your own skin goes a long way to managing emotions. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable is also a key skill to be able to manoeuvre unforeseen challenges.
Tools to Help You Regulate Triggers
Taking responsibility for our actions and reactions to triggers is key to moving past our problems. If we deny our own accountability, we will never be able to face our own truth. And by doing so, we can only grow. As hard as it is to confront our prior trauma and end relationships that no longer serve us, the control you gain over your emotions is worth it. You can’t put a price on your freedom.
Once you’ve identified the root cause of your triggers or any patterns of behaviour that keep repeating, you can learn to manage your reaction before the next occurrence. Journal about your triggers and accept your feelings. Considering how to work through your reaction can help mitigate your next attack. When you experience a trigger, if you have some techniques at your disposal, you are more likely to succeed and not let the emotions take control of you. Implementing mindfulness techniques like breathing and visualization can help you reduce the intensity of your reaction in the moment.
If the reaction is super intense and triggers an anxiety attack, you can use sensory exercises to ground yourself and lessen the intensity. Try distancing yourself from the situation. Go for a walk outdoors to gain some perspective or go to a space you feel safe in. Physical illness, injury or pain can also make you more susceptible. Have a plan in place so that in situations when you could be more vulnerable, you can lessen the intensity.
Working through trauma can be difficult, and depending on the root cause, you may need to ask for help. Never discard the option to get help from a mental health professional. They can guide you through identifying your triggers, and can provide you with additional tools to add to your toolkit.
What are your triggers?
We can’t expect others to work around our triggers. We need to take the bull by the horns and face the source of our unpleasantness. Don’t let emotions control you. When our emotional reactions start to take over our lives, it’s important to do the work. Set the stage for better emotional regulation with the tools you know work for you. Therapy can provide guidance and help you learn coping techniques that help you improve your self-awareness. Build your self care toolkit arsenal during less stressful times in order to be better prepared when triggered. By having a regular self care practice, the intensity of a trigger becomes diminished.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Aaron Blanco Tejedor.