Perfectionism can lead you to master skills and meet your goals, but at what price? The psychological effect many can experience when they are perfectionists, is detrimental to their sense of well-being. In work settings, colleagues may mock perfectionists that they are too rigid, without realizing the harm this trait can have on those individuals. This can build a wall in the relationship behind which the perfectionist will hide in future. Having been a perfectionist for the majority of my life, I can say it is not a good trait to have. It led me to accomplish great feats, but it cost me my freedom and happiness.

Am I a Perfectionist?

Many may not realize that they are perfectionists. You ask, how is that even possible? Have you ever shied away from doing something because you weren’t good at it? Do you like other languages but don’t speak any because you fear that you might say something wrong? Or worse, fear being disrespectful? Are you missing deadlines at work because you think your boss won’t think what you did is good enough? Do you avoid situations that you know will make it evident you can’t do something at the same level as others? Such as going skiing, going to a museum, or drawing a picture?

Acceptance

All of us have things we can do well, and many others we can’t. We often identify with the things that we do best, making us more vulnerable to showing those defects and lack of skills. But why does that even matter? We place value sometimes on the wrong things. Why are we ashamed of having less ability than others? If we look at it as I’m not good at this now, but I can get better, shouldn’t that be the relevant quality, a growth mindset? Constantly challenging ourselves to grow instead of seeking perfection will yield better results. Not only in terms of the skill or trait, but also by improving our mental health.

Perfectionism is in the Eye of the Beholder

Perfectionism is often sought as a ways to receive recognition of a job well done, whether consciously or not. But that shifts the sense of worth onto others perception of what you’ve accomplished. All too often, that recognition does not come because they see it differently. By realizing that, you can start to understand that seeking perfection is not going to accomplish anything. In fact, it may make you miserable. If you are frustrated that something you are working on isn’t perfect, take a step back and think, how would someone else see this? Do they expect the same level of accomplishment? Is it good enough?

Change your focus to a growth mindset, instead of focusing on a set goal. You can look at small incremental steps that will get you towards that goal. This opens up the door to personal satisfaction when you meet those more realistic mini-goals which are more in your control. It also allows you to pivot when needed because you are no longer stuck on a concrete finish line. And much to your surprise, this may lead you on paths you would not have discovered otherwise.

Perfectionism is an Unattainable Destination

By shifting gears from an impossible and finite goal to one that encourages continual growth, you feel better about yourself. All while supporting the big and small accomplishments along the way. A sense of control comes back into your life. Ironically enough, this allows you to do more, and continue to expand your abilities. This is not an excuse for you to accept the minimalist effort possible on any given venture, but rather to accept that if it wasn’t what you had hoped for, that is fine. See what you learnt in the process, try to implement those learnings in future. But most of all, recognize what you did do. Was it better than you could do before? Great!

IMAGE CREDIT: Pixabay | Alexas Fotos.