Most of us perceive success in very specific terms with high stakes. Few, if any, question what true success is. We tend to label it by social consensus or by what we’re told to believe. Striving for a very abstract goal of what success is perceived to be can lead to an increase in stress. In fact, it can keep you from enjoying your life. By taking time to ponder what it means in your current circumstances, you can redefine success to make each day count.
Traditional Views Of Success
In Western society, we tend to view success in relation to academia, athleticism, careers, and finances. We are taught from a young age to do better in school so that we can get a better career. You then aspire to get recognized for a job well done so that you can be promoted or get a raise. But when you are not rewarded in the way you expect, you feel like you did not succeed. You may constantly compare yourself to others, and keep beating yourself up for not having as good of a life as them, or as much as them.
We neglect to teach people the importance of health, of building good relationships, and even basic life skills. Yet we expect them to succeed at all costs. For some, this message stays ingrained and leads to a life of misery. While some can accept they did not achieve others’ definition of success, they can still feel the emotional toll associated with it.
If you have never questioned what success means to you, you can be blinded by aspirations that are not realistic. This can lead to feeling like a constant failure. Ironically, those definitions of success that you carry are often someone else’s point of view that you have taken upon yourself. The standard was set early in life, and regardless of the manifestation, negative thoughts prevail, slowly eroding away at your self worth. Can you relate?
On the flip side, if you do attain traditional success, you still may not feel successful, even hollow inside. It may shock you that reaching that goal was not satisfying. That realization can lead to confusion and even angst or depression.
Shifting Focus
To redefine success, you must look at how you define success in the first place. If it’s based on a traditional viewpoint, or if you don’t even have one, this exercise will help you prioritize a more realistic measure of success based on your life circumstances. The next step is to identify your values. You might be surprised to find that your definition of success (up until now) is actually counterproductive to your values. This can help you make adjustments in either how you define success, your core values, or both. Then you can find actionable steps to get on your path of success.
Eureka! Tiny wins lead to bigger gains
Success is about personal growth, becoming a better version of you. Prioritize the journey, not the destination. When you redefine success, consider if you are working towards your ideal life. What can you do to move you one step closer? How can you guarantee you achieve your goals, regardless if they are lofty or not.
It can be hard to redefine success if you have very concrete ideas of what it is. If that’s the case, narrow your focus to one area of your life. Start by looking at your self care routine and how you define success in that realm. Once you do that shift, it will be easier to redefine success in other areas of your life. Remember that people in your life may or may not agree with how you define success. Do not let their perspectives alter how you redefine success. This is your journey.
What can success be?
You get to choose what success looks like. It can still fit within the traditional categories, but perhaps more realistic and less lofty. Such as passing a test for a class you are struggling for. It can even be getting the role you wanted, but at a different company. But also consider success in other ways, and this is even more important if you are really struggling with your self-worth.
When you are struggling with just getting through each day, you need to redefine success for your reality with a goal of where you want to get to. If cooking healthy meals is normally hard, doing this three times a week can be a huge success. Sometimes going to a gathering can be terrifying, so the fact you only stayed for an hour shouldn’t be your metric. You made it there. That’s huge. If you can’t make ends meet financially, finding a side hustle that doesn’t drain you can be success. Or if you choose to switch out the car for public transportation, that can be success too. The goal of redefining success is not to reward every action, it’s to recognize that you took your reality and made it a little better.
Don’t Forget The Influence Of Time
In your work to redefine success, time is a factor. How you perceive success today is not the same as you did in the past. And how you define success today, will not be how you define it tomorrow. You need to redefine success as a fluid aspect of your life. That is why we often feel we are not successful. By defining it as a static state, it is black and white thinking.
When you redefine success as an evolving construct that reflects where you are in a given moment in time, you are setting yourself up for success. That is because you are giving yourself the flexibility to adapt to your changing needs in a world that moves faster than ever. It also makes you focus on accomplishments that may otherwise go unnoticed. And it allows you to match your daily actions to your core values. This congruency, will lead to more life satisfaction.
What does your journey of success look like?
When you redefine success, you are redefining your daily actions and the perception of your reality. Small wins are progress towards your goals, regardless of how little they may be. Changes in how you view success can lead to building your confidence and improving your mood. It also forces you to be more compassionate with yourself. By choosing to reframe how you define success, you can align your values with your beliefs. Then you can make changes to your behaviour that will support your authentic self. This leads to greater happiness and self-acceptance.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Erik Brolin.