We’ve become accustomed to setting goals for ourselves, usually at the start of the year. Although well-intentioned, we often fail within the first month. We approach another year, try again, and surprise, we fail again. Why is this? It all comes down to the how, what, and why. By starting with self-reflection of where you are today, you can use goal setting to successfully implement change in your life. This is a skill particularly important to learn as you try to maximize self care and take control of your life. By knowing where you are and where you’d like to be, you can make a plan that sets you up for success.

Picking A Time To Start

The first of the month

We’ve evolved as a society to create New Year’s resolutions, often touted as New Year, New You! Yes the beginning of a calendar year is a great concept for a fresh start. But I will argue that one of the reasons they don’t succeed is because the time of year is not ideal for most people. The other reason for failure is lack of thought and planning.

People who use a start date that works for them tend to be more successful. By that I mean that they don’t limit themselves to January first as the only date possible to make a change. If you fail, then you’re waiting until next year? What if every first of the month becomes a time to reflect and reset. If you failed last month, it’s a new chance to try again, and again the month afterwards, and so on.

Start of the school year

Other people, especially with school-aged children, choose the start of the school year to make big changes. This makes sense when you are looking at new schedules and commitments that will dictate the upcoming months for your family. So why not throw a little self-reflection into the mix and ensure you are also making positive changes to your self care.

In fact, it’s advisable to look at your personal time during big interruptions to your routine. If we begin those changes blindly, we will most certainly feel off-balance when it comes to our self care. This leads to an increase in stress and other possible challenges down the road.

Random date

Picking a random day in the calendar to start prioritizing yourself is also fine. Sometimes external factors can instigate when you do this, such as starting a new job, moving to another city, a milestone birthday, or a change in your relationship status. It can also be a moment of clarity that spurs you to take action. The point is that the start date is irrelevant, what matters is that you pick one and go with it.

Reflection

Reflection is the next step in figuring out how to improve your quality of life and prioritizing your self care. This is also an exercise in being honest with yourself, so it can be hard. Set time aside to go through this exercise with intention and to get to know yourself better. Are you unhappy with your work-life balance? Is your physical body not where you’d like it to be? What would you like to improve on? Do you want to have more energy? Does it feel like life is just happening to you?

If you aren’t sure where to start, or you aren’t getting specific answers, try to think about it in different areas of your life? Categories could be personal or professional, relationships or skills. At the very least, I encourage you to look at self care as one area of improvement. This article will focus primarily on self care as the lens for your reflection, but you can extrapolate the technique for other goals in life. Visit Make A Plan to explore more topics related to life changes and to see how goals fit into a bigger plan.

Once you’ve identified areas to work on, then recall activities you have done in the past, regardless if you were successful or not. These prior attempts can be in any category. From those that worked, you can get insight into how you might achieve new goals in future. And from the fails, try to identify why they didn’t work out. Were your goals too lofty or unrealistic? Did you have a plan? What resources did you need, but perhaps didn’t have? Or was is simply that you gave up because you lost your motivation?

Goal Setting

Once you have reflected and know what you would like to work on, you need to make a plan. Although I originally discovered goal planning in the workplace, I’ve now extended it into my personal life to support greater life changes. I’m a fan of the acronym SMART for setting goals as it reminds me of key aspects I need to address, but you can use whatever works for you:

• S stands for Specific. This is in reference to being crystal clear on what your goal is. Another way of thinking of this is in specifying the outcome you would like to see.
• M stands for Measurable. This is a hard one, many people struggle with this. How will you measure your progress and outcome? By identifying what metrics you will use, you can track them regularly to ensure you stay on course. This can be as simple as keeping a tally in a journal if it is a behaviour you want to do daily, or creating a log to keep yourself accountable.
• A stands for Achievable. You can also think of this as it being attainable. Do you have all the resources you need to accomplish the goal? Are you confident that you are capable of achieving this goal given your reality? What actions do you need to take in order to meet your goal?
• R stands for Relevant. Think of this in relation to your long-term objectives and the alignment with your values. Is this in-line with who you are? Does it conflict with your beliefs? Is this truly a goal you want or are you doing it because you think you should? Are you motivated to do it? If there is any discord, you will surely not succeed.
• T stands for Time-bound. When will you be doing work towards your goal? Be realistic on the amount of time you will need to dedicate to it. You will be more likely to succeed if you have scheduled it into your routine. What is the timeline for you to accomplish this goal? Is a month realistic, or is looking at a year-long plan more likely to see you succeed? Don’t forget to identify milestones you want to reach at certain points of the journey.

Like any self care practice, review is key to ensure success. We need to ensure that we schedule time to review our progress along the way. This will allow you to pivot if necessary. This can be an adjustment to the goal, the approach, or the greater plan. You can also abandon a goal if it is no longer relevant or you have identified a different goal that will serve you better.

I’d like to throw in L for Lesson(s) Learnt at the end of the SMART acronym, once you complete or toss your goal. By reviewing what worked and what didn’t, you set yourself up for future success. And because you have committed to a lifetime of taking care of yourself, you can get better at implementing future self care goals. When you do accomplish your goal, you can also write an accomplishment statement to have a reminder of what you achieved, and celebrate the wins with those close to you.

Take time to reflect on your goals.

At the end of the day, you don’t want to rush the process of setting goals, the point is for you to start. Set time aside and reflect on what you want to achieve. Use the acronym SMART-L to guide you in clarifying your goals and work towards a greater plan, increasing your likelihood of success. Review and adjust as needed. Remember that if at first you don’t succeed, hit that reset button. Don’t give up. Start small, then tackle bigger goals as you figure out a system that works for you. Goals may need to be adjusted for changing life circumstances. Different goals may require different approaches too. Be accountable to yourself, you are doing this to have a better quality of life.

IMAGE CREDIT: Pexels | Maria Orlova.