Most of us can’t stand being uncomfortable. We may not even be aware of it, but the truth is that being uncomfortable is hard and often doesn’t make us feel good. I too have struggled with this and have created elaborate ways to avoid being uncomfortable over the years. Until recently, I defaulted to these behaviours to avoid discomfort, but I now know that in order for me to improve my life, I need to learn how to be uncomfortable, both physically and psychologically. It leads to growth, better self-awareness, and resilience.
Why Is Being Uncomfortable So Hard?
Being uncomfortable often brings with it mixed emotions, most of which are negative. Fear is a big one, manifesting in the form of fear of being rejected, ridiculed, or failing, to name a few. Let’s take a deeper look at that. What is behind that? Most likely expectations of ourselves and of others. We all need to fit in and feel the pressure to conform. Being uncomfortable makes it challenging because if it’s not right, then the only path forward we see is doom. We avoid discomfort because we may feel shame, guilt, or hurt. These are powerful emotions that typically have stronger associations to negative experiences or beliefs. Understanding what those are can have a great impact on your life.
Over the last decade, I’ve seen people close to me avoid being uncomfortable at extreme costs. They create walls around them to avoid feeling anything negative. This can manifest in various formats – neglect, addiction, or avoidance which can also lead to isolation. We sometimes believe that status quo means we are safe and happy. But are we? Maybe for some, but I know that for me it hasn’t been the case. And the extreme avoidance of being uncomfortable has actually done the opposite. It has hindered my chances at growing as an individual, and it has affected my health in more ways than one.
I now realize that a big part of this is because being uncomfortable means something is not in my control. It also means that I have to accept that I can’t be perfect at everything. These are big challenges for me, and I’ve made big strides, but realizing that being uncomfortable is another side of the same coin has made a big difference in my approach.
Signs Of Discomfort
If you aren’t sure what you are experiencing is uncomfortableness, take an introspective look at yourself. What feelings are you experiencing? Are you displaying physical signs of discomfort? Is your body in a closed position? In other words, are your arms and/or legs crossed when in the company of others. Are you slouched over, seeking a fetal-type position? Do you struggle making eye-contact with people in the room? Are you fidgety?
Do you rely on your phone to avoid interactions with people? Are words hard to conjure when speaking to others? Do you choose to wear loose-fitting clothes over fitted? Is exercise of any kind too much to even fathom? Are you hiding your true self behind a carefully staged appearance? Avoidance can also be your default to limit the chances of being embarrassed or failure.
Another interesting fact is that sometimes we feel uncomfortable because we have an unmet need that we are unaware of. This can be as simple as needing to eat or rest. At times we are unaware of how a physical need is affecting us mentally. This is why improving our self awareness is so important. By consciously making an effort to face our uncomfortableness, we can start to improve our overall well-being.
Reasons To Embrace Uncomfortableness
Learning to be uncomfortable is essential for growth. Without it, we don’t really push ourselves to be better. Some people may want to learn a new language, get better at social interactions, or do a complete career change. Regardless of what your goals are, learning to be uncomfortable is key.
Once we can accept that being uncomfortable is perfectly normal, we can start to see it for what it is. We all experience it throughout our lives, but oftentimes, we don’t label it as that. It gets attributed as something else. You might think being uncomfortable is stemming from lack of skills, or just being useless. Or you think you don’t have the ability to learn anything new. Some even go as far as not even trying out of the fear of making a fool out of yourself. So what if you do? Who cares! At the end of the day, if you stop caring about what others think of you, being uncomfortable becomes easier. Easier said than done, I know, but you need to start somewhere.
Feeling all of our emotions is important. Avoidance only leads to greater issues. By facing the good and the bad, we learn strength and resilience. It takes practice. Know that no feeling is permanent, and each one has something to teach us.
Additionally, by being able to be uncomfortable, we learn greater self-awareness and confidence. This in turn can motivate us to continue our personal growth journey. Even if you don’t have goals you are working towards, learning to accept discomfort can help you adapt to life’s situations which are out of your control. By trying new things and slowly pushing yourself into uncomfortableness, you can build your own ability to handle change and to manage your emotions.
What are you uncomfortable with?
Once you embrace that being uncomfortable is part of being human, you can start to identify the root cause of your problems. Once you know what those are, you can tackle those individually. Don’t forget to be compassionate with yourself as you push yourself to embrace discomfort. By seeing uncomfortableness as a positive thing, you can learn to channel that energy into the goals you are trying to achieve. They don’t need to be lofty, but goals that help you get to where you want to be in life. Facing uncomfortableness creates stepping stones for greater growth, contributing to improved self care.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Blake Cheeke.