We take for granted how we speak and our word choice is often unconscious. They reflect our thoughts and feelings. The words we use in talking to ourselves and others has a bigger impact than you think on your life. Words can affect you emotionally and physically. They can inspire and move you to action. Words have the power to hurt and heal. The concept is easy to understand when you think of someone else’s words towards you, but harder when they come from you. Tackling this exercise will be challenging, but the benefit is invaluable. By becoming aware of how you speak, you can improve both your relationships and your overall well-being.
The Impact Of Words
It’s hard to know how you come across to others, especially when you are wrapped up in your daily struggles. Your capacity to filter your word choice diminishes. During stressful times, it is also hard to know if you are making things worse as your focus is typically on treading water. Word choice has a profound impact on how we not only view ourselves, but the world around us as well. It is easy to get into the trap of negativity during hard times and chronic stress amplifies this.
When you feel like you never get through to people, you may question why you aren’t getting through. Is it what you said or is the problem them not understanding? Regardless, this points out an obvious gap in communication, and more often than not, both parties need to improve their skills in this area. Whether it be at work or at home, finding the right word choice will get your message to someone else. This is critical in feeling like you have a connection and reducing aggravations.
Words can bring you down and deplete your motivation. They can cause you emotional suffering and they can destroy relationships. And on the flip side, words can boost your confidence and push you to do great things. Words can strengthen and develop new bonds. Words can change lives.
How is it that word choice can be both good and bad for you? Well, it comes down to word choice. Having positive words in your vocabulary will shift your perspective in how you view the world, and it alters how you feel about yourself. Words can inspire. Negative word choices do the opposite, they can taint everything. From self-talk to how you speak to others, word choice has far-reaching implications.
Approaches To Improve Word Choice
Changing how we speak is incredibly difficult, but not unattainable. The options below are some methods I have tried, but are by no means the only way of improving how you speak. Try one of them out for a few days or weeks, then try another if you aren’t getting further in the process. You can also look at how others do it if these approaches are not a good fit. But the goal is to try and shift to a more positive word choice and to amplify your vocabulary. By expanding your available word choice, you can have a better chance of your intended message getting through. Plus, you’ll be better able to express yourself, supporting your true authentic self.
The first step is to become aware of how you speak. The next is to make changes that align with your overall well-being, supporting your self-care goals.
Developing Awareness
Knowing how we speak is hard. We don’t normally think about it, we just do it. One of the few times you may actually consider it is when you try to learn a new language. Another is when you write. This is why journaling is incredibly helpful in developing your self-awareness and improving your well-being. If you already journal, go back and review prior entries. Do you spot any patterns? Do you default to certain words? Is the overall tone positive or negative?
Alternatively, listen to yourself. If writing isn’t your cup of tea, record your thoughts throughout the day. Play them back later to reveal insights in word choice. Get consent if others are present when recording.
Understanding what your default word choice is can be daunting. Pay attention to what you say. What kinds of things do you say to yourself? How do you talk to other people? If you aren’t sure, you can always ask those closest to you to bring up examples when you are talking with them. Do they notice anything particularly negative? Do you self-deprecate?
If you find you have a lot of verbal disagreements with others, try to review the conversation. Were you repeating something over and over again? How were you feeling in that moment? Did you struggle to find the right words to say? Did the interaction stay with you for the rest of the day?
All of this can help you understand areas to work on. You won’t be able to flip a switch and do it quickly, this will take time, practice, and self-compassion. Know that there is a learning curve. Keep your goal in mind and break it down into manageable steps.
Changing Your Word Choice
Incorporate affirmations into your daily routine. This is one of the easiest ways to introduce new word choices into your vocabulary. When you use pre-existing affirmations or quotes that you find in a book or online, it takes the thinking out of the equation. The words have been chosen already, all you have to do is say them back to yourself, preferably aloud. Affirmations help prime your mind for positive thoughts and beliefs. If you don’t know how affirmations work, read Affirmations.
When journaling, try to be conscientious of your word choice. Aim to focus on more positive words and experiences. This isn’t to say you can’t write about a bad experience you had, but then make sure to find something positive. Either a silver lining, a lesson learnt, or were you able to implement self care tools to get through the situation? Also infuse gratitude into your writing. By focusing on what you are grateful for, it shifts your mind from what you don’t have, to appreciating what you do have.
Expanding your vocabulary is a great way to improve your word choice. By having more words at your disposal, the greater you can express yourself. Review the meaning of words. Question if you are using words correctly. Take it one step further and find new words in the dictionary. And pick up a book. Just read. Try different types of books, authors, and topics.
Additionally, if languages interest you, learning another language can help amplify your existing language skills. Picking up another language helps you develop a different perspective on life, which in turn, helps you become more precise with your word choice in your native tongue.
Expand your vocabulary!
Think before you speak to others, and select your word choice carefully. It can reduce conflicts and improve your relationships. When you write to others, word choice can also improve messaging and leads to better outcomes. Be clear on the words you choose.
Alter how you speak to yourself to support a positive foundation for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you have a word or phrase you are trying to incorporate into your word choice journey, try being creative. Add it to your vision board or dedicate a page to it in your art journal. By focusing your energy on expressing it in various formats, it will reinforce the concept in your mind.
Breaking your word choice is hard. Even eliminating one negative word from your vocabulary can make a difference. Positive phrases can help eliminate limiting beliefs, improving your view of yourself. Learning to master word choice will also help you be more mindful of how you interact with others, but more importantly, yourself. You will express yourself more easily and treat yourself with the respect you deserve.
IMAGE CREDIT: Unsplash | Sheldon & Elena Mozhvilo.